Post by caios on Sept 27, 2011 18:36:07 GMT -5
(( I've been enjoying my new toon too much perhaps, as a result today I was randomly inspired to write this... ;D ))
Five days ago, and roughly 3000 years into the future…
… Though depending on your perspective we can be talking about an alternate future, as these things tend to change a lot, so we could actually be talking about 2.857K years to the left. Give or take a decade.
“Wait, stop, hold on. What are you going on about now?” Detective Grodsin of the New New New New New New England Peacekeeper’s Yard Bureau had to shake his head to keep his brain from jumping ship.
“Well it’s very simple,” the woman ( albeit a very loose interpretation of the word ) on the other side of the interrogation began to explain. “Only it’s not simple at all because after a certain point things start getting all Timey Wimey Wibbly Wobbly. That’s the official terminology, go ahead, look it up.”
The detective gave her a look that clearly required more explanation.
“Think of it this way, if you’re living in some pre space travel primitive planet and all you know is one giant flat chunk of dirt, you would probably have a hard time believing that if you walk as far as possible in one single direction you’ll end up right back where you started. But if you’re used to being in space all the time then the idea of planets being round isn’t particularly surprising or even interesting.
“Likewise people who don’t know any better think that time is linear, that you keep moving in one direction, from cause to effect. But really it’s all just a bunch of strings all tied together and twisting and twirling around each other, Wobbly gets Wibbly, Wimey gets Timey.”
“And what the hell does that have to do with anything?” Detective Grodsin ask out of desperation.
“Oh, um, not sure.” The woman said, then with a twitch of one of her ears she asked, “What was the question again?”
“What the blazes were you doing in Mrs. Willmey’s attic?” the detective stressed again.
“Oh right, that.” She replied, Grodsin felt she must have been blinking stupidly behind those huge goggles she still wore, “Um what year is it again?”
“4869,” the detective answered much to his dislike, “And answer the bloody question!”
“You should probably do something about redirecting your aggressive tendencies into more productive energies.” The woman said with a casual briskness, “At any rate I was just trying to find tempest convergence points along the quantum dark energy temporal spectrum. Real simple, like I said.”
“What the hell does that mean?” the detective demanded.
“Timey Wimey, Wibbly Wobbly.” The woman said wiggling her fingers and ears in his direction.
“That woman is drivin me Mad!” Grodsin said as he stormed into the observation room.
“Don’t let her get to you,” Detective Fguaratgue told his partner as he watched their collar through the security system of the police station, “At least she didn’t twitch that tail of hers at you.”
Fguaratgue was actually an alien from the planet of Myrbrineq, which was meaningless since they all looked identical to humans. “Besides I don’t think its intentional.”
“So what, that mean she’s just crazy bonkers then?” Grodsin asked.
“Well it’s not outside the realm of possibility. Have you seen what she put down as her aliases in her arrest documents?” Fguaratgue mentioned as he pulled up the record, “Let’s see we have; The Freak, No the Other Freak, Yes THAT Freak, Chrono Who, Chrono What, Chrono Why, Temporess, Time Freak, She Who Sleeps till About Noon Even On Weekdays, Ms Chronos of No Relation To the God, and Fluffy.”
“Fluffy?” Grodsin asked.
“Really? THAT ONE you find interesting?” Fguaratgue turned towards the other detective.
“Well did she leave a real name then?”
“No, nothing of the sort, just a bunch of nonsense aliases.”
“Lovely, what do you reckon we do with her?”
“Funny you should ask,” Fguaratgue said as he handed his partner a data pad, “There’s a bloke downstairs that’s paid her bail, maybe we can ask him what she’s all about.”
As the detectives left observation they failed to notice their captive taking a keen interest with the electronic recording devices built into the table before her.
Downstairs the two detectives were quickly led towards the man that had paid the said bail.
“Hey you sir, Mind if we ask you some questions.” Detective Grodsin insisted politely.
“Um, certainly officers.”
“It’s Detective,” Grodsin added, “What’s your name?”
“John.”
“Is that it?”
“John Roberts, sir.”
“John Roberts? Kind of a strange, very plain sort of name these days, don’t you think?” Fguaratgue mentioned.
“Well that is my name, detective.” He replied.
“That’s nice, perhaps you can tell us what’s going on about the strange girl we got upstairs.” Grodsin insisted again.
“I really have no idea what to tell you I’m afraid.” John told them.
“Well perhaps you can start with her name?” Fguaratgue suggested.
“She called herself ChronoFreak. One Word, Capitol C and F, she was very clear on that.”
“ChronoFreak? Doesn’t sound like much of a name.” Grodsin commented.
“Probably, I have no idea if that’s her real name or not, that’s just what she insisted I refer to her by.” John explained.
“So you friends with her or something?” Grodsin continued.
“Oh no not at all I’m afraid.” John said, “I barely even know her. And what I do know is frightening enough for me, thank you very much.”
“If she’s not your friend why are you paying her bail?” Fguaratgue asked.
“Just returning a favor of sorts.” John continued, “She saved my life, asked nothing in return, when I asked why she said she did it because I was going to bail her out one of these days, and so here I am.”
“Well that’s all very lovely, but she’s not going anywhere until she’s answered some questions, real answers I mean!”
“Oh you don’t understand I’m afraid,” John said, “I’m not here to get her out of Jail, I’m just making sure she doesn’t cause too many problems when she escapes.”
“You really think she’s going to escape from the very center of one of the largest Peacekeeper forts in the sector?” Grodsin asked smugly.
“Has anyone ben watching her?” John asked in response, “ I mean really watching her, directly.” It was obvious from the way the detectives were looking at each other that other than the standard observational protocols, no one else was actively watching their prisoner, “She’s likely already left then.” John put on his hat and began to walk out the door, “And unless you have cause to keep me here, which I know you do not, then I should be leaving as well.”
Moments later the detectives rushed back into the interrogation room only to find it empty. Not only was their female captive missing, so was the interrogation table, and all the electronics it contained.
John Roberts walked into his apartment with a sigh, allowing the automated door to close behind him. No sooner did he put his coat down then her heard a sharp crack, kid of what it would sound like to hear a piece of reality crack after someone accidentally dropped it on the floor. He imagined there was something seriously wrong with his life if that was the sort of personal experiences he had to compare sounds to.
“I see you managed to find you way back into my flat, uninvited, once again.” John said with no subtle amount of disapproval, not that it really mattered any.
“Oh, Hello Johnny! Thanks for the help back there.” The familiar voice of that petite stranger – emphasis on Strange – came back at him.
He walked into the kitchen and sure enough there she was, in all her green hair, purple bunny ears ( which may or may not be real ) and unusually fluffy tail greatness. She was working on a pair of boots this time, while she was still wearing them. As such he had one of her legs on the table with a strange looking metal boot wrapped all the way up her calf. It also meant that from his angle John could see all the way up her mini skirt and could tell what color her undergarments were made of. His current house guest seemed oblivious to this little fact. Not that it mattered, both of them knew full well such titillation was pretty much lost on him.
“So, ChronoFreak, how did you get out this time?” John asked knowing there was no point in trying to make the woman understand anything resembling reason. “Let me guess, some sort of sonic screwdriver?”
“What? No, that would just be boring.” ChronoFreak said, “I opted to go with a big ass rifle!” With a mad glint in her goggles she pulled out a very advanced looking rifle seemingly, and quite possibly, out of nowhere. It certainly looked very shiny, and it matched ChronoFreak perfectly. There was only one problem.
“It’s not really all that big you know.” John commented.
“Hey! I worked very hard on this. Took me a full ten minutes to get it to glow the right shade of green.” ChronoFreak scolded him, “Then again, it would explain why I had so many parts left over. Speaking of which, what do you think of my new boots?”
“They’re alright I guess.” John said.
“That’s it? Just ‘alright’?” ChronoFreak frowned, “That’s not very helpful, and I thought you guys were all supposed to be fashion experts.”
“Well I’m not, so I guess you’re wrong for once.” John shot back.
“Ok well, maybe I’ll upgrade them later.” ChronoFreak said as she put her boots down, “At any rate that’s not the best part, I finally got the convergence ratio right. Check this out!” Without so much as a gesture a strange device suddenly appeared on her back. It wasn’t even so much “appeared” as much as it simply became reality, as if ChronoFreak simply disagreed with its inexistence and thus it now existed.
“That’s very nice, … whatever that is.” John simply stated.
“Ha! I know right!” ChronoFreak elated, “Who needs a box anyway? You can’t split lanes down the space time continuum in a box!”
“I’m sure whatever you’re referring to must be very nice indeed.” John agreed apathetically.
“Oh don’t you worry, I’ll be leaving soon, forever! Well probably forever, who can say with these things. And you’ll miss me! … or not, kind of a 50/50 split on that one. Oh, also you might want to get the door.”
Before John could ask for clarification the guest alert from his doorway called out. He looked at ChronoFreak who only looked back at him expectantly before he finally decided to head back out to open him door.
“Mr. Roberts, we have a few more questions.” Detective Grodsin once again demanded in his trademark tone with his partner standing next to him.
It was barely a moment later when John heard the sound of something very fast moving just outside his apartment, it was much like the sound of time itself being forced through a jet engine. Once again he realized he probably shouldn’t know what that sounds like.
“If you’re here about ChronoFreak I’m afraid she’s gone now.” John told the detectives.
“Gone where?” Detective Fguaratgue asked, “And what the blazes was that sound?”
“That was probably ChronoFreak herself doing what she does best.” John answered, “Which likely means she’s gone off to save the multiverse.” With frustrated resignation John added, “… again.”
Five days ago, and roughly 3000 years into the future…
… Though depending on your perspective we can be talking about an alternate future, as these things tend to change a lot, so we could actually be talking about 2.857K years to the left. Give or take a decade.
“Wait, stop, hold on. What are you going on about now?” Detective Grodsin of the New New New New New New England Peacekeeper’s Yard Bureau had to shake his head to keep his brain from jumping ship.
“Well it’s very simple,” the woman ( albeit a very loose interpretation of the word ) on the other side of the interrogation began to explain. “Only it’s not simple at all because after a certain point things start getting all Timey Wimey Wibbly Wobbly. That’s the official terminology, go ahead, look it up.”
The detective gave her a look that clearly required more explanation.
“Think of it this way, if you’re living in some pre space travel primitive planet and all you know is one giant flat chunk of dirt, you would probably have a hard time believing that if you walk as far as possible in one single direction you’ll end up right back where you started. But if you’re used to being in space all the time then the idea of planets being round isn’t particularly surprising or even interesting.
“Likewise people who don’t know any better think that time is linear, that you keep moving in one direction, from cause to effect. But really it’s all just a bunch of strings all tied together and twisting and twirling around each other, Wobbly gets Wibbly, Wimey gets Timey.”
“And what the hell does that have to do with anything?” Detective Grodsin ask out of desperation.
“Oh, um, not sure.” The woman said, then with a twitch of one of her ears she asked, “What was the question again?”
“What the blazes were you doing in Mrs. Willmey’s attic?” the detective stressed again.
“Oh right, that.” She replied, Grodsin felt she must have been blinking stupidly behind those huge goggles she still wore, “Um what year is it again?”
“4869,” the detective answered much to his dislike, “And answer the bloody question!”
“You should probably do something about redirecting your aggressive tendencies into more productive energies.” The woman said with a casual briskness, “At any rate I was just trying to find tempest convergence points along the quantum dark energy temporal spectrum. Real simple, like I said.”
“What the hell does that mean?” the detective demanded.
“Timey Wimey, Wibbly Wobbly.” The woman said wiggling her fingers and ears in his direction.
“That woman is drivin me Mad!” Grodsin said as he stormed into the observation room.
“Don’t let her get to you,” Detective Fguaratgue told his partner as he watched their collar through the security system of the police station, “At least she didn’t twitch that tail of hers at you.”
Fguaratgue was actually an alien from the planet of Myrbrineq, which was meaningless since they all looked identical to humans. “Besides I don’t think its intentional.”
“So what, that mean she’s just crazy bonkers then?” Grodsin asked.
“Well it’s not outside the realm of possibility. Have you seen what she put down as her aliases in her arrest documents?” Fguaratgue mentioned as he pulled up the record, “Let’s see we have; The Freak, No the Other Freak, Yes THAT Freak, Chrono Who, Chrono What, Chrono Why, Temporess, Time Freak, She Who Sleeps till About Noon Even On Weekdays, Ms Chronos of No Relation To the God, and Fluffy.”
“Fluffy?” Grodsin asked.
“Really? THAT ONE you find interesting?” Fguaratgue turned towards the other detective.
“Well did she leave a real name then?”
“No, nothing of the sort, just a bunch of nonsense aliases.”
“Lovely, what do you reckon we do with her?”
“Funny you should ask,” Fguaratgue said as he handed his partner a data pad, “There’s a bloke downstairs that’s paid her bail, maybe we can ask him what she’s all about.”
As the detectives left observation they failed to notice their captive taking a keen interest with the electronic recording devices built into the table before her.
Downstairs the two detectives were quickly led towards the man that had paid the said bail.
“Hey you sir, Mind if we ask you some questions.” Detective Grodsin insisted politely.
“Um, certainly officers.”
“It’s Detective,” Grodsin added, “What’s your name?”
“John.”
“Is that it?”
“John Roberts, sir.”
“John Roberts? Kind of a strange, very plain sort of name these days, don’t you think?” Fguaratgue mentioned.
“Well that is my name, detective.” He replied.
“That’s nice, perhaps you can tell us what’s going on about the strange girl we got upstairs.” Grodsin insisted again.
“I really have no idea what to tell you I’m afraid.” John told them.
“Well perhaps you can start with her name?” Fguaratgue suggested.
“She called herself ChronoFreak. One Word, Capitol C and F, she was very clear on that.”
“ChronoFreak? Doesn’t sound like much of a name.” Grodsin commented.
“Probably, I have no idea if that’s her real name or not, that’s just what she insisted I refer to her by.” John explained.
“So you friends with her or something?” Grodsin continued.
“Oh no not at all I’m afraid.” John said, “I barely even know her. And what I do know is frightening enough for me, thank you very much.”
“If she’s not your friend why are you paying her bail?” Fguaratgue asked.
“Just returning a favor of sorts.” John continued, “She saved my life, asked nothing in return, when I asked why she said she did it because I was going to bail her out one of these days, and so here I am.”
“Well that’s all very lovely, but she’s not going anywhere until she’s answered some questions, real answers I mean!”
“Oh you don’t understand I’m afraid,” John said, “I’m not here to get her out of Jail, I’m just making sure she doesn’t cause too many problems when she escapes.”
“You really think she’s going to escape from the very center of one of the largest Peacekeeper forts in the sector?” Grodsin asked smugly.
“Has anyone ben watching her?” John asked in response, “ I mean really watching her, directly.” It was obvious from the way the detectives were looking at each other that other than the standard observational protocols, no one else was actively watching their prisoner, “She’s likely already left then.” John put on his hat and began to walk out the door, “And unless you have cause to keep me here, which I know you do not, then I should be leaving as well.”
Moments later the detectives rushed back into the interrogation room only to find it empty. Not only was their female captive missing, so was the interrogation table, and all the electronics it contained.
John Roberts walked into his apartment with a sigh, allowing the automated door to close behind him. No sooner did he put his coat down then her heard a sharp crack, kid of what it would sound like to hear a piece of reality crack after someone accidentally dropped it on the floor. He imagined there was something seriously wrong with his life if that was the sort of personal experiences he had to compare sounds to.
“I see you managed to find you way back into my flat, uninvited, once again.” John said with no subtle amount of disapproval, not that it really mattered any.
“Oh, Hello Johnny! Thanks for the help back there.” The familiar voice of that petite stranger – emphasis on Strange – came back at him.
He walked into the kitchen and sure enough there she was, in all her green hair, purple bunny ears ( which may or may not be real ) and unusually fluffy tail greatness. She was working on a pair of boots this time, while she was still wearing them. As such he had one of her legs on the table with a strange looking metal boot wrapped all the way up her calf. It also meant that from his angle John could see all the way up her mini skirt and could tell what color her undergarments were made of. His current house guest seemed oblivious to this little fact. Not that it mattered, both of them knew full well such titillation was pretty much lost on him.
“So, ChronoFreak, how did you get out this time?” John asked knowing there was no point in trying to make the woman understand anything resembling reason. “Let me guess, some sort of sonic screwdriver?”
“What? No, that would just be boring.” ChronoFreak said, “I opted to go with a big ass rifle!” With a mad glint in her goggles she pulled out a very advanced looking rifle seemingly, and quite possibly, out of nowhere. It certainly looked very shiny, and it matched ChronoFreak perfectly. There was only one problem.
“It’s not really all that big you know.” John commented.
“Hey! I worked very hard on this. Took me a full ten minutes to get it to glow the right shade of green.” ChronoFreak scolded him, “Then again, it would explain why I had so many parts left over. Speaking of which, what do you think of my new boots?”
“They’re alright I guess.” John said.
“That’s it? Just ‘alright’?” ChronoFreak frowned, “That’s not very helpful, and I thought you guys were all supposed to be fashion experts.”
“Well I’m not, so I guess you’re wrong for once.” John shot back.
“Ok well, maybe I’ll upgrade them later.” ChronoFreak said as she put her boots down, “At any rate that’s not the best part, I finally got the convergence ratio right. Check this out!” Without so much as a gesture a strange device suddenly appeared on her back. It wasn’t even so much “appeared” as much as it simply became reality, as if ChronoFreak simply disagreed with its inexistence and thus it now existed.
“That’s very nice, … whatever that is.” John simply stated.
“Ha! I know right!” ChronoFreak elated, “Who needs a box anyway? You can’t split lanes down the space time continuum in a box!”
“I’m sure whatever you’re referring to must be very nice indeed.” John agreed apathetically.
“Oh don’t you worry, I’ll be leaving soon, forever! Well probably forever, who can say with these things. And you’ll miss me! … or not, kind of a 50/50 split on that one. Oh, also you might want to get the door.”
Before John could ask for clarification the guest alert from his doorway called out. He looked at ChronoFreak who only looked back at him expectantly before he finally decided to head back out to open him door.
“Mr. Roberts, we have a few more questions.” Detective Grodsin once again demanded in his trademark tone with his partner standing next to him.
It was barely a moment later when John heard the sound of something very fast moving just outside his apartment, it was much like the sound of time itself being forced through a jet engine. Once again he realized he probably shouldn’t know what that sounds like.
“If you’re here about ChronoFreak I’m afraid she’s gone now.” John told the detectives.
“Gone where?” Detective Fguaratgue asked, “And what the blazes was that sound?”
“That was probably ChronoFreak herself doing what she does best.” John answered, “Which likely means she’s gone off to save the multiverse.” With frustrated resignation John added, “… again.”